22 July 2007

Weekly News Round-Up

Once again it is time for All The News That Goes Better With Booze! Do tell professor, do tell!

1--4 NY teens die in an auto crash. it seems that the driver's cell was in use at the time of the crash--someone was texting. Stupidity needs no further comment.

2--Hey! The Catholic church in La has agreed to pay $660 million to abused people. That is an expensive game of "hide the weenie"!

3--New drug for RLS--restless leg syndrome--Mirapex, has a side effect of intense sexual urges. Do I need to say anything more?

4--Super family values rep gets caught with peter in little black book--good ole Vitter from La. He cries, he apologizes and for what--because I got caught, not because of anything he did.

5--Falcon QB, Vick has been implicated in a dog fighting gthing. (thinking...thinking....) It would seem that he has more felony completions than pass completions.

6--A study says that by 2015, 71% of the american people will be overweight and 40% will be obese. Not to worry, the Mayans say that time will stop in 2012, so eat up it will not matter.

7--Finally, the world has gone bananas! Must there be a competition for everything? recently, there was a world chhampionship of rock, paper, scissors--WHY?

8--But Wait! Yet another final post! The Phillies recently lost their 10,000 game--setting a new US record for losers.

Thank you for your indulgence! This was posted before a live studio audience!




Meme said...

Chuq.. "live studio audience"? Where is the canned laughter? ha ha

*NY teens - texting and driving ~ when will people get the point that driving requires every bit of a person's concentration. I can remember my mother hollering at me for looking down at the seat once, a magazine or something, i looked down to glace at something, but anyway, there just doesn't seem to be enough realization of the meaning of 'split second' anymore.

*Catholic church - hmm... not sure what to say... "hide the weanie", gotta go down as one of "Professor's classics", lol

*mirapex - thinking... restless legs, shaking.. thinking... intense sexual urges... thinking... ok, the mental picture is too funny! :-)

*Vitter - very true, only sorry that he got caught. As far as his wife goes, I'm not sure I could get up in front of the press and do what she did. Body language said a lot more that day than she spoke with her mouth, did you notice that?

*Falcon QB - I hate the thought of anyone doing this with dogs (well, you know what I mean!) It's a shame!

*Obesity & Mayan's - wow... only 5 years left?

*Rock,Paper, Scissors - never did learn how to do that, just never thought much of it, but thought the same thing when I saw that there was such a thing as a competition... WHY? Why ask why, I guess :-)

*Phillies - must be a bad time for the fans, huh? Or do they have any? groan...

CHUQ said...

Vitter's wife is addicted to the lifestyle, she will hang in there to remain an important person.

Solution to cels--make it a hard fine for driving and using the cel. I mean first offense $1000 and double for every new offense.

The Dog thing--should be mandatory 10 yrs in jail and a $1 million fine.

It was posted before a live studio audience, but they were conservs--you could hear a pin drop.

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